How to Explain Your Surrogacy Journey to Your Children: 8 Tips for Success
There are a few things to consider as you tell your children about your surrogacy journey. The way you approach the conversation will depend on your child’s age and cognitive ability, whether there are other siblings in your family, and the support and awareness around you, your family, and your community.
It is important that your children learn directly from you that you are a surrogate, before they overhear any conversations about it or are asked about it from someone else. Here are eight tips to keep in mind while you talk to your children to make sure they understand, respect, and get excited alongside you on this beautiful journey.
Follow your children’s lead. Share with them the basic information and see if they ask another question. If they do, answer that particular question. Avoid overloading them with more information than they are asking or are ready for.
If your children are very young you can wait until you know you are pregnant so that they don't have to hold the information for too long a period of time.
如果你的孩子在他們年輕的時候，我發現描述代孕的最佳方法就是給他們看一張打算父母的照片。它給了他們一些有形的東西，他們可以看到和堅持。你可以向他們解釋，目標家庭或父母希望他們有機會生一個孩子，就像你有他們一樣。 與他們分享，人的身體不能成長的嬰兒，所以你要成長他們的寶寶在你的身體內。讓他們知道你正在幫助他們成長，但你不會成為孩子的媽媽。這是一份禮物，你可以給一個想要孩子的人。
與孩子一起使用"代理"一詞是重要的。這是你們家庭世界中的一件大事;他們應該覺得自己是其中的一部分。 他們需要知道"代理"是什麼意思，因為他們一定會聽到你和其他成年人之間的談話，無論是個人還是醫學。
你可能會驚訝於有多少人願意在公眾中說和問個人問題。他們可能會認為懷孕會導致你的孩子的兄弟姐妹，他們可能會直接問他們，「你有一個弟弟或妹妹嗎？你的孩子應該有信息來回應，讓他們感到舒服。 他們可能希望回答問題或將此人引導給您
Some children may ask about the medical piece, as you will be going to several medical appointments. You may get questions like, “How does the baby get inside?” Depending on their age, you may respond by saying, “With the doctor’s help.” Depending on how inquisitive your child is, as well as their age, will determine how much technical information they need. If you are not sure of the language to use there are some books that can help so that you can read the material to them.
With children at all ages it is important to reassure them that you are doing ok, even if you have nausea and don't feel well, or are going to the doctor more often. If your children are a bit older you can let them know that not every seed or embryo becomes a baby and that you may be trying a few times.
If you have multiple children of different ages and you choose to tell your older ones, we don't want them to have to hold a secret from your younger children. Sometimes it is best to tell your different aged children separately so you can answer their various, age appropriate questions.
Surrogacy is an exciting journey to take with your family. It is an opportunity for your children to learn about you and have a unique life experience you will always remember!
